the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
