i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
