That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
