I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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