I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
