Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
