I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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