I don't think brook has ever known best
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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