I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
