I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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