Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
