Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize