The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
