you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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