Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
