if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
