Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so let's talk penis.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize