Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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