I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
