EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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