..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
