as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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