would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
