let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
