And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
