we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize