Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
