Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
