peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i've created a new STD.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
