i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
