That's intense
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize