Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
