I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
OPIZZABONMYDICK
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize