I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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