I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Green mimosas i think yes
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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