whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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