i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I got chris browned last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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