now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Congratulations! We have a period
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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