I'm lost and stupid without you.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
