Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize