I want to make a zoo with you.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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