I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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