The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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