I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't deserve a penis
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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