You can't special order awesome
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
