When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
