Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
