Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
