We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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