Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
