I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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