check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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