Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think my vagina is haunted
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
