Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
