please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
