I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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