I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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