I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we made out on top of his cat.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
